Monday, March 31, 2008

And Your Heart Will Lead You Home



I’m back home and like all good things, my month long Sabbatical has come to an end.
I must say that I was totally dreading driving 1500 miles by myself. But with God as my co-pilot I’m home safe and sound.

It’s amazing how putting on some praise music while stuck in a traffic jam can change your demeanor. Instead of grumbling I just praised God, knowing he was in control.

As I drove home the lyrics of “Your Heart Will Lead You Home” sung by Kenny Loggins in the “Tigger Movie” kept going thru my head. I was sad leaving everything I had grown to love all over again, behind.

Sunny days and starry nights and lazy afternoons
You’re counting castles in the clouds and humming little tunes


But somehow right before your eyes the summer fades away
Everything is different, everything has changed

A few years ago I was torn between continuing to live in Florida and feeling like God was calling me to go back home to Michigan, When God finally gave my heart peace about the decision to move back home, the lyrics brought me comfort.
There’ll come a day when you’re loosing your way, and you don’t know where you belong
They say that home is where the heart is so follow your heart

and know that you can’t go wrong
If you feel lost and on your own and far from home you’re never alone you know
Just think of your friends the ones who care
They all will be waiting there with love to share
And your heart will lead you home.

When I would sing the song it helped me to concentrate on all the things I loved that I would be going back to. It was a hard thing to do because I knew how many wonderful people I was leaving behind.

The old cliché that says “you can never go home again,” scared me. I knew I wasn’t the same person any longer. In the year I spent in Florida, God had grown me in so many ways. I was going back to be with the same people in the same places, and I wondered how the new me would fit in. How would I ever be able to survive without a friend like Jackie that I could talk to for hours about anything; a friend that shared the same passion for Christ?

We serve such a faithful God; I should have known that he would provide for my spiritual needs. Back at home he brought new people into my life to fill the void. My life in Michigan was full and I was content doing all the things God gave me to do.

But a part of my heart longed for the things of the past.

I felt Gods approval for a trip back to the place where I had come to know and love Him in a new way, but as I prepared to leave and go back to Florida, my mind began to wonder what I would find. Would my friend Jackie be so involved in her new life that she wouldn’t have time, or worse yet have no desire to renew our friendship?

My trip back to Florida would end up being a blessing for both of us. It was as though I had never left. Jackie and I spent many precious hours together and it was as though time had stood still waiting for my return.

Funny how a photograph can take you back in time
To places and embraces, that you thought you'd left behind
They're trying to remind you, that you're not the only one
that no one is an island, when all is said and done
God is so awesome and he knows my heart like no one else. He did so much to orchestrate my stay into a memorable event.

He provided a worship service each week that seemed tailored just for me. I had drawn so much pleasure from listening to the entire First Baptist Choir when I was a regular, but 3 particular singers stood out in my memory. During my visit, every week one of those special singers performed solo.

My Bible Study Class was as warm and welcoming as I had remembered, and He provided the chance to share a special lunch with all of them.

He brought our friends Jeanne and Barb for a visit to relax and reconnect, and He ministered to both of their hearts in a special way.

Each trip to the beach left me in awe, and I felt God’s presence so strongly as I walked the beach and watched the sun set into the immenseness of the Gulf of Mexico.


But most of all God gave me a wonderful blessing by allowing me to return to renew and strengthen the two greatest friendships I have ever known; my friendship with Jackie, and my friendship with HIM.

I am so thankful to God for this special time.

As I placed my suitcase into the car yesterday morning and began the last leg of the trip back home, I heard God’s voice reminding me that for the time being I am living right where he intends me to be. His still small voice sang in my ear,
"Just think of your friends the ones who care,
they all will be waiting there with love to share…

And your heart will lead you home."



Monday, March 24, 2008

Resurrection Sunday


The definition of “resurrection” in the Encarta dictionary is as follows: rising from the dead-in some systems of belief, a rising from, or raising of somebody from the dead, or the state of having risen from the dead

Yesterday was Resurrection Sunday for my family in more ways than one.

My husband’s family gathered for an Easter celebration hosted by my son Dan and his soon to be new/old wife Ann. I say that because they were married, divorced and are now back together, a sort of resurrection of their marriage you might say. Here is the happy couple


I am so happy that they volunteered to have Easter dinner at their house even if I couldn’t be there to join them.
It’s good to see the house coming to life again.
The house Danny and Ann live in belonged to me and my husband Ed. We built the house as our dream home in 1978 and for many years the house saw much love and laughter during family gatherings and parties for our friends and associates.

After Ed died, I kept the house and the eight plus acres it sat on for 13 years.

The acreage was part of the farm I grew up on. Each sibling received a parcel of land on which to build a home. My sister lived next door, and after my dad sold the original farm he retained a portion and put up a small house next door to my sister.

I was ready to sell my house the first year after Ed died, but selling part of my heritage seemed as though I was being ungrateful for my parents gift of the land and it also felt like I was breaking family ties.
Instead of selling, I decided to give the house a make over and make it MY home and not ours. I thought maybe, if I could erase the traces of Ed, it would make the pain go away.
I did get agreat new kitchen in the make over, and eventually the pain stopped on its own.

The following year I got the itch to move once again and when I mentioned it to the children, Danny looked at me and as tears ran down his cheeks he said,
Maybe that’s why I can never picture my family sitting around the tree at Christmas when I try. That’s because you won’t be living here.”

It broke my heart!

A few years later I got the bug once again, when I was moving to Florida.

This time my daughter Wendy wanted to buy the house from me. I loved the idea at first and then I started doubting whether or not it was what God wanted me to do. I prayed about it for a few days and then one day opened the bible to see if I could get a word from the Lord.

I don’t remember what I read on the page I opened to, or even what book of the Bible I was reading, but it talked about widowhood, and children dying, and fire. I’m sure I took the passage totally out of context at the time but all I could visualize was my grandchildren burning up in the house, so I decided to wait until after I tried living in Florida to sell it. My reasons for not selling seemed silly so I couldn't tell Wendy the real reason, I just told her I decided not to sell.

The decision turned out to be a good one. Florida was just God's training ground for me and not where He wanted me remain.
I moved back home. Living so close to my dad just before he died made it so much easier for my sister and me to give him the care he needed in order for him to remain in his home.

But after Dad died, the house began to feel like an open sore to me. I no longer wanted to decorate it or even keep it clean. I felt weighed down and over burdened by the taxes and with the maintenance.

The back yard pool that had been such a joy was a chore to keep clean and sanitized, and , we only swam in it three times the last year before I filled it in.

The back yard deck became weathered and darkened, and a year went by without putting out the patio furniture.

Some days I would remember the how wonderful the yard looked after being mowed, the petunia’s decorating the foundation and the trees and bushes weed whacked clean; the back yard open and the blue pool, sparkling and inviting, and the table umbrella shading us from the hot sun. Days when my house was a home for a family and not for a single woman. Those days no longer existed.

But 9 months after my dad’s death I finally felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt free at last to sell the house and move away.

Danny and Ann were back together and ready to begin living together once again. I offered to sell the house to the two of them. The timing was right. Things fell into place and I felt Gods blessing on my decision.

What I didn’t anticipate however, was how much my daughter would be hurt over my decision. She and Stephen would have had to sell their home before they could buy mine and in Michigan that is not an easy thing to do. I thought she would be happy that it could stay in the family. I hoped she would get over it as soon as she saw how much easier it would be for her to have me living so close. But it didn’t happen.

The day I moved out was the last time she stepped foot into the house. I have been praying daily for God to heal her heart.

Yesterday on Resurrection Sunday, God answered my prayers. Wendy joined the rest of her family for the Easter dinner. I know how hard it was for her to swallow her pride and I know there will still be healing that needs to take place. But with God’s help she has made the first step and broken free from the chains that held her.

My daughter in-laws artistic touches and my son’s handy work have resurrected a dying home and my daughter and grandsons presence have filled it once again with Joy!

Thank you Father, for making all things new again.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Practice What You Preach

God has such a great way of humbling me. Every time I open my mouth and make a statement he has a way of making me live up to my response.


About a month ago, I witnessed my daughter Wendy and her significant other, Stephen, get angry at the manager of a restaurant after they were treated unfairly and also rather rudely. I tried to reason with them that even if the manager was wrong, their actions only added fuel to the situation. I told them that their anger only resulted in an inner conflict and caused the manager to feel vindicated when they left in a huff, and I suggested that perhaps killing her with kindness would have been the better choice.

But I might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

I was upset with both of them for two days, and when I prayed, I asked God to show them how bad they sounded in front of their children.

Well, I must have been feeling a little too self- righteous, because a few days later while I was babysitting for my grandsons I had an encounter with the cable company.


I could feel myself getting upset at the woman on the other end of the phone, who didn’t seem to care that even though I had cancelled my internet service I was still being charged for it. With my voice raised, I asked to speak to her manager. As my words became angrier I glanced over and saw three pair of big blue eyes starring at me. I was suddenly reminded of the words I had given to my daughter a few days before. The Lord said to me, "Luanne can you practice what you preach. "


Last week, Lysa TerKeurst at Proverbs 31 asked us to tell her our favorite scripture when we encounter fear. I replied "2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' I always feel like God is saying "don't worry, I'm already on it and it helps me relax."

Later that evening as I was returning from bible study, I turned a lttle too sharply into my parking spot. I heard a scrapping sound as the passenger side of my rented vehicle made contact with the post of the carport. I stopped the car but instead of pulling forward I backed up and heard the sound all over. Here is the result.




Oh Boy, did I have trouble sleeping that night.
I had just swithched insurance companies before leaving.
Tossing and turning all night long I wondered whether to turn a claim into my insurance company or pay for the repairs myself.

The next morning I woke with the weight of the world on my shoulders, and as I went thru the day it felt as though I could burst into tears if someone smiled at me. I was half way thru the day when I remembered what I had written on Lysa's blog, and driving down the road I began to recite "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' over and over.

As I repeated the words I realized that I had been focused on what I had done wrong instead of what God can do because of it.

I wasn't being careless and I hadn't been distracted when I pulled into the parking spot. I had just misjudged it this time, despite the fact that I have pulled into the same car port atleast 365 times previously without ever scrapping my car.

So I'm just wondering why God has allowed me to experience this trial now.

Even though I don't know the answer, I know he does.

In her book “Calm My Anxious Heart” Linda Dillow gives an account taken from Michael P Green’s “Illustrations for Biblical Preaching” where Andrew Murray wrote the following advice :

“In times of trouble say “First, He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this straight place, in that I will rest.” Next, “He will keep me here in his love and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child.” Then say, “He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons he intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he wishes to bestow.” And last say “In His good time he can bring me out again. How and when he knows” Therefore say, “I am here (1) by God’s appointment (2) for his keeping, (3) for his training, (4) for his time.”

I love those words "to behave as his child". Most of the time thats the hardest part for me.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Big Slice of Humble Pie Please

Last week Lysa TerKeurst http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ held a recipe swap. Amy Brooks graciously assembled them all into a printer friendly format and emailed them to all interested. I searched carefully but couldn't find the recipe I need so desperately today. Humble Pie!



Yesterday morning I journaled asking God to make me a blessing for someone that day and to use me in whatever way he wanted.



As I went about my day I decided to head to the pool despite the fact that there wasn't a trace of sun in the sky. It was extrememly cloudy. As I arrived I found less than a handful of people, which made finding a lounge chair an easy task.



The lounge chair next to me was empty and on the other side of that chair was an older woman with an Amigo or or some other brand of scooter, at her side.




I put on my headphones and began jamming silently to the wonderful songs of "Selah", and I fell asleep to the pleasant tune and words of "Counselor, Comforter, Keeper".


A half an hour later I was awakened to the sound of a lounge chair scrapping the cement surface. I looked over and noticed the woman next to me struggling to pull herself on to her scooter.

"Could I help you?" I asked.



She turned her head as far as she could towards me and said "NO".

I wondered if she was embarrassed or just trying to be self sufficient, but after watching her struggle for two more times I jumped off my chair and went to her side.



"Maybe if I hold the scooter for you it will be easier" I volunteered.

She tried one more time and failed. Silently I held out my hand and she took it and with hardly any effort she rose immediately.

"Thank You" she said. "My Pleasure" I replied as I walked back to my chair.



Sitting down on my chair I began praising God for letting me help her. But it wasn't just praise I was feeling. A spiritual pride wove its way into the equation. I was so busy thinking how great it was that God used me like I had asked him that morning, that I failed to open the gate for the women and I saw her struggling with it from a distance. Why do I always take my eyes off God and put them on myself.



This morning the reading in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, hit me right smack in the face. It asked "Am I really surrendered to God for his sake, or am I surrendered for what I can get out of it?"



As I read it my body tensed, and I felt myself concentrating so hard trying to figure out the answer to his question, that I found myself "bearing down" as in child birth.

Mr. Chambers continued saying "The words "gaining heaven", "being delivered from sin" and "being made useful to God" are things that should never be a consideration in real surrender." Ouch! My exact words in that mornings journal read "Please fill me with your wonderful virtues so I may become useful to you." Or in otherwords I want, I want, I want!



Oswald Chambers goes on to say "Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference to Jesus Christ Himself. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it."



Wow this is hard because as soon as I pray "I want to be totally surrendered to you Lord." I tell him MY wants again and it's back to being all about ME when it fact it must be all about him.

Yikes! It doesn't feel like I have the foggiest idea of what total surrender really feels like.



Could Someone Please Pass the Humble Pie.

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Beach



Naples, Florida: Day 9

Yesterday we changed our clock ahead one hour. My clocks were in order, but my body was an hour behind. I rushed to church instead of making it a leisurely experience. Well actually my body is a lot more than an hour behind. Its been playing catch up longer than I'd like to admit.

It is amazing to me how hard and how long it takes to get into shape and how quickly you can slip back. I’m not talking about a well oiled machine kind of shape, but the kind of shape where you can walk a mile or two without huffing and puffing after.



















4 years ago I walked 3 miles a day. 1.5 miles to the complex gate and 1.5 miles back. I could do it in 45 minutes. While a 15 minute mile may be slow, it felt like a marathon to me. My short feet and short legs make for a very short stride.

Oh my how I have lost ground. A week ago I walked 1.75 miles and it took me an hour. I could make excuses and say my foot has not healed yet and I’m four years older, but the truth is the 20 plus pounds I’ve put on and the sedentary life style I’ve been leading are the real culprits. My goal is to do the 3 miles in 50 minutes before I leave in 20 days.

Yesterday I went to the beach for the first time. I forgot how much easier it is to walk beside the Gulf and watch the waves crash than it is to walk on a sidewalk. But yesterday I was too busy snapping pictures with my new camera to get in much walking. I was practicing taking pictures using my zoom.



I know this is a little voyeuristic, but I needed a closer look at those blue and gold chairs. I think a Michigan Wolverine fan lives in this condo.




















I was so busy looking around to see what I wanted to take a picture of that I almost stepped on this. Yikes!!







Up close it looks like miniature corn cobs.















I love watching the pelicans. If you look close he is just ready to swallow the fish.









Day One of Daylight savings has changed the time of sunset by an hour. I failed to take that into consideration when I headed off to the beach to see the sun set. Silly me!




Dinner is in the oven so sunset at the beach will have to wait for another day. This is as close to setting as I'll see today.


Friday, March 7, 2008

Welcome Back

Hi, If you’ve come here from Lysa Blog, my recipe for “Lip Smacking Key Lime Pie” will be at the end of my post.


I’ve been suffering from a bad case of writers block. The last thing I posted was on February 15th and since that time its been down hill.

For the last few weeks I have been anxiously waiting to begin a month’s vacation in Naples, Florida and perhaps that’s what’s been clogging the airways of my mind.


Finally, last Saturday, March 1 at 11:30 a.m., I drove thru the gates of Naples Heritage and breathed in the warm salt water air and whispered to myself “I’m home”.






You see 4 years ago this was my home for one very special year. God invited me to come and spend some time getting to know him in a way I had never before experienced.



He spoke to me through my friend Jackie. We’d gone to the same grade school and had been cheerleaders together in high school, and when our kids went to school and played sports we became bleacher butt buddies and the friendship began to grow along with our backsides from all the sitting.

In Naples, Jackie not only became my downstairs neighbor but also a spiritual role model.








The things I thought and felt about God and religion, paled in comparison to the things God would teach me during my year long stay. Naples became a plush playground for my faith.



At the same time that God was luring me closer to him, the many shopping centers in town called out my name and beckoned me to come and worship them. Naples was quickly becoming my Babylon.






There was a constant tug of war to see whether good girl or bad girl would win out. Most of the time in the early part of my sabbatical, bad girl emerged. I not only had too much time on my hands, but right before I left Michigan, the man I had fallen head over heels for, had decided he wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship, and if I stayed he wasn’t sure he was ready for a long term relationship either.




So shopping became my vice to curb the pain. I shopped for items to cutesy up the condo, I shopped for clothes because I was losing weight and I liked being able to buy smaller sizes. I shopped and I shopped and I shopped, and couldn’t seem to get my fill. In between the shopping jaunts, I turned to the Lord to find contentment.





Every day I found new meaning surrounded by the sand and the surf, and every day I grew more in love with the people God had brought into my life.


Each thing that filled my heart with joy created a longing to share them with my family back home. My heart while joyful , was being torn in two worrying what would happen when the year was over. God helped to convince me to take each day at a time.



On December 12, 2004 my journal entry read:


Lord, so many lessons this week have sent the same message. And by George, for the first time I think I have it. I have wondered how I go about being satisfied with what I have. How does one block out what they want and make you all they need?


Only by your grace am I finally feeling contentment in my life. Yesterday morning as I worked on my bible study, I looked up as I read the words of the 23rd Psalm.


“He makes me to lie down in green pastures”. I looked out at the green grass of the golf course in front of me and realized how rested I have become since coming to Florida. Even in my stressful times I could feel a peace.




He leads me beside still waters”. Again I looked up and saw the pond of water before me and thought how walking along the still water and walking along the beach the last few weeks has relieved so much stress. “






He restores my soul” Ah yes this is where I really feel the connection. You have taught me so much in the last year, more than in the last 55 years of my life put together. How I will ever be able to leave this “plush playground for my faith” remains to be seen.




I only know that I am content being in this place at this time and I am going to enjoy every second I have left to continue to grow and serve you and to praise you for this tropical blessing I am living in. The words of praise in my heart and the songs of praise I sing will never do justice to the thankfulness and love I have for you.



Thank you, Lord, for the memories that have been made. Thank you for the chance to build my character; and for the ability to walk with you and talk with you on a deeper level. Help me to take one day at a time and savor the blessings.





My year came to a close, and God sent me back home with a heart full of love and a head full of knowledge.


He sent me home to put into action everything he had been teaching.


He sent me home to spend my dad’s last year with him, helping my sister with his care in ways we never imagined we would have to do.




God’s words helped me endure the sleepless nights we would spend by his side in order to keep him in his home and not a hospital. Over and over when I thought I couldn’t do it any longer, I heard God say "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)




God’s words got me thru the last days, and just as dad was taking his final breaths my sister whispered, “Let’s pray” and together we began ...“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. …..”.



Those words had special meaning to me again this week.



I awoke the first morning just as the sun was rising. Quietly I took my bible and my bible study book out onto the lanai and opened to the daily lesson. “Read the 23rd Psalm” the directions said. And as I opened my Bible and began to read I heard God speaking all over again.



“Welcome back Child, he whispered, Welcome Back!”





Now, here is the recipe for Lysa's Blog Readers







Lip Smacking Key Lime Pie (sorry I don't photograph food well. Its prettier than it looks)


1 - 8 oz block of cream cheese


1 can of Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk


1/2 to 3/4 cup of Key Lime Juice (must be Key Lime)



1 tsp of vanilla


1 Graham cracker pie crust



Beat cream cheese until smooth and add Eagle Brand milk. Mix together and then add the key lime juice and vanilla. When thoroughly mixed, pour into pie shell and refrigerate. For decorative look Top with whip cream and a small wedge of lime. Sprinkle sliced almonds on whip cream topping. (Can be made with reduced fat cream cheese and the reduced fat Eagle brand milk but does not set up as well as the regular.) Bon ape'tit