With Mom's Blessing

This is my first time participating in Show and Tell Friday.

Here’s my show …and here goes my tell.

My mom died in 1988 due to congestive heart failure. She had been a heavy smoker; at least 1-2 packs a day of Camel cigarettes. She fought obesity for as long as I can remember, which was probably a bigger contributor to her CHF than the cigarettes she inhaled.

But despite her vices she was a dear, and she had a great love for the Lord. In her final years you could usually find her sitting at the kitchen table conversing with God.

My brother’s friends loved coming to our house just to sit and visit with her. She had a tell it like it is attitude, a loud voice and a big heart.

In her kitchen was a large picture window, and my most vivid memories of my mom are pictured with her sitting at the kitchen table keeping watch over the world outside.
In the winter she delighted in watching the birds at the feeders, especially the cardinals dressed in their colorful red feathers. In the summer she was always spotting a humming bird and pointing it out to the grandkids. When we drove out of the driveway she kept waving until we were gone from her view.

My mom’s wedding ring was a simple silver band with a row of tiny diamonds. She was always satisfied with the simplicity of the ring and always said she didn’t need a flashy diamond to prove my dads love to her. Over the years the ring lost several of the chips.

During her first CHF attack, moms ring had to be cut from her finger. She was in a coma for 3 days and we almost lost her. Having to be hospitalized for so long turned into a blessing in disguise for she was able to finally kick the smoking habit she’d had for over 50 years. It was also a blessing that her wedding ring wasn’t ruined, just a tiny cut in the back was all it took to disengage it from her finger, but she didn’t want to have the ring welded just incase it ever happened again.


Her hands and feet often swelled past the point of comfort. Often in the middle of the night she would take her ring off and put it on the night stand.

One day she noticed the ring was missing. The cleaning lady had been to the house earlier in the day, and mom was sure it had gotten knocked off and most likely swept up into the vacuum cleaner. We sifted through the dust and debris to no avail. Mom was heart broken for the rest of her days.

A few years after my mom died my husband came home with an announcement. “I think your dad has a girl friend” he told me. “No way” I gasped.


I hated the idea of my dad having another women in his life, and I didn’t take to the news in a kind way. Especially after I learned she had been his high school sweetheart. It felt like he was betraying my mom.

I refused to have anything to do with this woman and verbalized my feelings to everyone but my dad. In his quiet unassuming way, he suffered in silence at my obstinance.


I became further distraught when he decided to sell my childhood home so he could move into a smaller apartment.


Finally the day came to move dad’s belongings to the new place. It was also the day that I was going to have to meet this “other woman” for the first time, and I was a total wreck.

My job for the day was cleaning the bathrooms. The top drawer of the vanity in the master bath still had mom’s makeup and some of her medicines in it. I remember pulling out the drawers and taking them to the waste basket and dumping the contents out.


I was choking back sobs as I dumped, purging my soul along with the few remaining material possessions.


Finally we were done and everyone began jumping into their vehicles to take the last load of dad’s things to the new apartment.

"I’m not going, you already have enough help", I told them.


After the last car drove away I went to my parents bedroom and sat on the floor and wept.

“Mom I just can’t do this," I cried. "I don’t want to meet Nada. What do you think? Are you okay with dad having this other woman in his life? If you’re okay with it could you give me a sign?" (Okay for anyone reading this don't get bent out of shape because I was talking to a dead person- I know my mom lives today because of her belief and love for her dear savior)

I went home and began getting ready for the evening. Dad and Nada were taking us all to dinner.

At 5:30 my brother George and his wife Cec arrived at our house to drive us to the restaurant. When I opened the front door, Cec was grinning.



“I have a present for you, hold out your hand.” she told me.



Apprehensively I extended my palm and Cec dropped something into it. When I drew it in to have a closer look I saw my mothers lost wedding ring sitting in the palm of my hand.



"Oh my goodness," I exclaimed. "Where did you find this. "



"We found it when we went back to take one final look around. It was in the top drawer of the vanity in the master bath", she said. (Mind you this was the same vanity that I had taken the drawers out of and dumped the contents.)


"We knew you were having a tough time today and we just felt like Mom would like you to have this.”



This was surely my sign from Mom, and as I starred down at the ring, I could feel the touch of God. It was ever so slight as it brushed across my shoulders but it was a healing touch and I felt the scales fall from my hardened heart.


It was an angelic message sent to let me know that it was good that my dad was feeling alive again, and that my Mom was with God and they were rejoicing because dad was moving on with his life.


It was time to put my childishness aside and help my dad be happy once again.

Half of the diamond chips are missing from the ring. I've been hoping to get it restored. Maybe this show and tell will spur me on.