I’m looking for honest feed back.
Oh Oh, is that what I really want?
What started out as enjoyment , to occasionally write a short story or poem, has become a passion. The more my faith in Christ has increased the more I feel led to write of the dealings and meaningful conversations I have had with my dear Lord and Savior. But there is a small problem.
A few months ago I was discussing my new passion with my brother. He laughingly related a comment one of his professors had made to him. It seems my brother was using the word “I” too much in his paper and his professor wanted him to restructure some of his sentences.
OUCH. Those words stung because I find myself doing the same. My goal is that my writings reflect God, and that His words become mine, but I just seem to be sticking out all over the place.
It’s been a growing concern. Especially if I really feel God is calling me to write.
What started out as enjoyment , to occasionally write a short story or poem, has become a passion. The more my faith in Christ has increased the more I feel led to write of the dealings and meaningful conversations I have had with my dear Lord and Savior. But there is a small problem.
A few months ago I was discussing my new passion with my brother. He laughingly related a comment one of his professors had made to him. It seems my brother was using the word “I” too much in his paper and his professor wanted him to restructure some of his sentences.
OUCH. Those words stung because I find myself doing the same. My goal is that my writings reflect God, and that His words become mine, but I just seem to be sticking out all over the place.
It’s been a growing concern. Especially if I really feel God is calling me to write.
So, Monday night I asked my bible study group to pray that God would increase and I would decrease.
I’m not sure it’s having any effect on my writing, but God has been laying some pretty heavy things on my heart.
It has to do with a vow of poverty, and I just don’t know where God is going with it. And it’s not the first time I have felt this nudge.
If I may take a minute to explain. … I’m not a wealthy woman. I’m a middle aged woman. My husband died 14 years ago leaving me a monthly pension, enough to supply my needs not my wants. Last year, I received a small inheritance that I was hoping to invest for my retirement years. But 5 months ago God asked me to leave my job as a receptionist to stay home and begin writing. (The receptionist job had been supplying my wants) Knowing I had the pension and now a small inheritance made it easier for me to say yes, but now I am feeling led to give it all away.
Perhaps the next step for my life won’t be revealed until I obey.
It has to do with a vow of poverty, and I just don’t know where God is going with it. And it’s not the first time I have felt this nudge.
If I may take a minute to explain. … I’m not a wealthy woman. I’m a middle aged woman. My husband died 14 years ago leaving me a monthly pension, enough to supply my needs not my wants. Last year, I received a small inheritance that I was hoping to invest for my retirement years. But 5 months ago God asked me to leave my job as a receptionist to stay home and begin writing. (The receptionist job had been supplying my wants) Knowing I had the pension and now a small inheritance made it easier for me to say yes, but now I am feeling led to give it all away.
Perhaps the next step for my life won’t be revealed until I obey.
Is God saying “Luanne if you want to be a writer or speaker so bad than this is what you have to do?”
I wonder if God is trying to increase my dependence on Him.
It’s not a matter of my obeying, but more about how to obey. The closer I grow to God, the more he has opened my eyes to the greed and the waste of our precious gifts and resources.
It’s not a matter of my obeying, but more about how to obey. The closer I grow to God, the more he has opened my eyes to the greed and the waste of our precious gifts and resources.
Someone once said that the final judgment won’t be God asking what I did wrong, but rather what did I do with the gifts God gave me, like in the parable of the talents.
Did God give me gifts so I could live more comfortably than my neighbor? Do I take it a step further to find out who my neighbor is?
My question to anyone reading this blog isn’t whether they think I am a nut case for giving away my inheritance. My friends have already weighed in on that fact and are a bit concerned. But they think from a worldly view, and God isn’t speaking to them, but to me.
What I’m looking for are people who have had a similar nudging from God, and whether or not they just waited for the phase to pass, or did they take a bold leap of faith and follow God. I’m looking for stories of both failures to respond, and faith leaps. I'm not looking for "attagirl" pats or "What are you thinking" but rather ... This is what I did and this is what happened etc.
My question to anyone reading this blog isn’t whether they think I am a nut case for giving away my inheritance. My friends have already weighed in on that fact and are a bit concerned. But they think from a worldly view, and God isn’t speaking to them, but to me.
What I’m looking for are people who have had a similar nudging from God, and whether or not they just waited for the phase to pass, or did they take a bold leap of faith and follow God. I’m looking for stories of both failures to respond, and faith leaps. I'm not looking for "attagirl" pats or "What are you thinking" but rather ... This is what I did and this is what happened etc.
Again, I’m not asking that you tell me to rethink my decision. If I fall flat on my face in the endeavor at least I erred on the side of God. My belief is that God will never allow us to do anything that he can not turn into his glory. But how can I truly love God and allow a child to starve because I'm saving for my future. Don't I need to trust God for my daily manna?
Thanks,
Luanne
Luanne
3 comments:
One of my favorite passages is from Matthew, about the lilies of the field... I wish I had enough faith to not stress out about the roof over my head or the next thing I need to pay for... yet ultimately I know I will be taken care of, and the things which I must go without only bring me closer to God in their absence, to a genuine spiritual experience. For a long time I wanted to give up my worldly possessions and wander as a seeker, but somehow, between fear and the sense of a certain responsibility to my family and society, I've gotten caught up again in the day-to-day struggle to survive in life as I know it, as I was raised. There is so much fear that goes along with moving into the unknown. And so many people that think you'd be crazy to do so that it makes you second-guess yourself. Sometimes, it feels like listening to your heart is the most dangerous, risky thing. Right now, I compromise with myself... someday, I'll follow my heart, but right now, I have to placate my heart. For you, I pray that you find the strength and courage to follow your heart to its fullness... and think of the lilies of the field.
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