Saying YES to God

I have just come off the most amazing 6 weeks of my life as I watched God’s hand at work in an up close and personal way.

It all began with a phone call as I lay basking in the warmth of the Florida sun in the middle of March. My sister Jo, who belongs to the same bible study as I do, was calling to give me an update on Deb, one of the women in our group.

Deb, who has been battling breast cancer for the last six years, had just received some tough news from her oncologist. Despite her chemo, the cancer was continuing to invade her brain. As an accountant for a local restaurant business, she had no choice but to finally resign from her job. It would be a while before she would be able to start collecting any kind of disability and until then her finances would be tight.

Jo was calling to ask my opinion on holding a benefit to help with some of Deb’s expenses, and if they did have one, would I like to help?

Betty, another woman in the group, had come up with the idea. Just a few weeks prior we had been discussing what real love for God looked like and Ken one of the men in the group had said “I think if you really love Jesus, you don't just sit around worshiping all day you reach out and do something for one of God's children. Its kind of like the Nike slogan,so if you love him you'll 'Just Do It!' ”

Kens words would remain with Betty, and when her love for God deepened her compassion for Deb, she sprung into action and she recruited my sister’s help .

“Sure, I’ll help. It sounds like a great idea” I told my sister over the phone. Stretched out in my chaise lounge watching the clouds roll by, I figured, if I was lucky, by the time I got back home the whole thing would be planned and all I would have to do was put on an apron and serve up some spaghetti.

………….at least that’s what I had hoped.

A few days after I returned from Florida, we met for lunch for the first time at the restaurant where Deb had been employed for many years. There were four of us, Betty, Jo, Kate, and myself.

As we discussed our thoughts, our worries increased. Was this something we thought we could pull off? Certainly none of us were qualified to do this and yet something spurred us on, or should I say SOMEONE.

What was God getting us into? We were all shaking in our boots.

I had just started an on-line bible study on one of my favorite blogs “Write From the Heart by Lelia Chealey http://leliachealey.blogspot.com/2008/03/learning-to-say-yes.html
The Bible Study is called “What Happens When Women Say YES To God” by Lysa TerKeurst http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/.

I was first introduced to Lysa when I heard her speak in Naples. Her topic that day was based on her book and was called “Radically Obedient Outrageously Blessed".
I remember wondering as we sat around discussing the benefit, if this radical obedience to God we were undertaking, would make us outrageously blessed when it was all said and done.

We finished our lunch that afternoon and made plans to meet again a few days later. As we were preparing to leave, the restaurant manager stopped by our table and we shared our plans with her. She asked us to call if she could help in any way.

The next morning as I prayed for God’s hand in this giant endeavor, he led me to a scripture.

“Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord,
I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken
to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

The LORD said to him, "Who gave
man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him
blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will
teach you what to say."

But Moses said, "O Lord, please
send someone else to do it." Exodus 4:10-15

My sentiments exactly. “Lord isn’t there someone else more qualified that knows what they’re doing.”

We met back at the same restaurant at the end of the week. Before we started any conversation Jo asked if we could please start with a prayer, and she asked the Holy Spirit to come to our aid and to be with us and guide our decisions that day.

The prayer helped us to focus on making this an endeavor that would glorify God.

Our original plan for a meal was fried chicken. As we planned the menu several employees stopped by our table to offer their support and tell us about other benefits they had attended. Some thought chicken would eat into our profits too much, and we agreed, and we began looking into pulled pork sandwiches.

After 2 hours we had visited and revisited the menu so many times that it was our brain that was fried. Just as we were planning our next meeting, a woman walked to our table and handed us a folded check. She was not a woman the world would think of as “one of the beautiful people.” But we were just about to learn the difference between the worlds view and God’s view.

We learned that as a new employee at the restaurant, Deb had befriended this woman when no one else seemed to give her the time of day. Deb had made her feel special and now she wanted to be able to make the first donation to her benefit. She was a single woman, making only minimum wage, and yet when we unfolded the check our mouths fell open. It was made out for $500 and noted that it was for benefit expenses.

Any doubt we may have had about whether or not this benefit was something God wanted us to do was quickly disolved. And this would only be the first of the miracles God was to perform through the generosity of the community.

Before leaving, another blessing came our way. The waitresses and bakery staff came forward and offered to provide, free of charge, all the desserts for the dinner. Amazing!

Everything I have learned over the last few years about God using the talents he has given us to glorify Him, was coming true. It amazed me to see God working thru the four of us. I could walk up to a total stranger and tell my life story. But asking for a donation left me tongue tied. So instead of seeking donations, I offered to be the person to write up a letter for someone else to take to the local businesses asking for help with a either a prize donation or a gift of money. They all agreed because none of them wanted this job.

After asking for God to give me the words for the letter, he led me to the 27th Psalm

“I am confident of this, that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”

The verse became the theme for our benefit. Yes, we hoped to raise money to help Deb out, but more than financial blessings we wanted Deb to be able to experience God’s love in a powerful way thru her community.

It really surprised me when Kate and Betty, the two very reserved members of the team, agreed, ever so hesitantly, to go around together and ask for the donations. I couldn’t help but think of the Exodus scripture again.

"I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak
to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you
were God to him. But take this staff in your hand so you can perform
miraculous signs with it."

As the two women found their voice over the next few weeks and not only asked for donations, but spoke to a newspaper reporter, and also spoke in front of two different groups, the Moses scripture played out. Not only did God send them out together like he did Moses and Aaron, but he gave them the words they were to say. We all agreed that the letter they took with them, containing the Word of God, had spoken to the merchants’ heart. It became their staff and with God's help they were able to gather some wonderful donations. People were being so generous. Most days it felt like God had opened the sky and was pouring down blessings from above.

Jo’s area of expertise was coordinating the dinner. By our third meeting we had again changed the menu and now we were planning on serving ham, meatballs, baked beans, potatoes, and coleslaw. Not only was Jo able to persuade several organizations to loan their cooking equipment and their extra table and chairs, she also managed to get the ham and meatballs donated by two area businesses, as well as donations of food from the local supermarket. A team effort scored gift cards for food at two major food chains, and 42 dozen rolls were donated by a friend who managed the bakery in a big restaurant in a neighboring town. Various parish members brought roasters of beans or potatoes, or items for the bake sale.

Our original plan had been to hold the benefit in our church hall. It seated 250 people. When we kept hearing that we should plan for 500 people, we tried to reserve the Knights of Columbus hall. The Knights agreed to cut the rent in half for us, but the date we were planning was already taken.

After prayerful consideration we all decided it should be held at the church. It was something we all had pictured in our mind and God gave us peace about our decision, and then blessed us with yet another donation. The Taymouth Township Fire Department not only donated a tent to house any overflow, but they agreed to put it up and take it down at no cost.

Every day heralded a new blessing. The camaraderie among the four of us was truly amazing. Several times we had a difference of opinion, but the dedication to follow God’s will helped us to remember to lay down our own will and go with the flow.

Some days we would be up to our elbows on a project and someone would remember we had forgotten to pray, and we would stop what we were doing and take the time to give God praise and ask for guidance.

Every time our minds wanted to play the “what if” game, we kept repeating the phrase “God is in control, and whatever happens will be in His will and for His purpose.”

May 16th finally arrived. With the dawn came the awareness that God had sent us a picture perfect day. Not too hot and not too cold. The daily readings spoke directly to our hearts and we felt God’s hand so strongly that day.

The workers began arriving. Jo worked in the kitchen and Betty, Kate and I worked in the church putting the finishing touches on the items donated for a silent auction and raffle. Our entire Bible Study group was on hand manning the bake sale, setting up tables, bringing in food, selling and taking tickets, and greeting the public. Our families joined in to help.

From the time the doors opened to the public at 4p.m. until the ending time of 7 p.m. the people came in steady streams. There were Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, and Baptists all gathered together under one church roof for one purpose, to do the will of God by supporting their sister in need.

God’s Spirit was so alive and evident in the heart of everyone who walked thru the doors that night. The look on their faces told us they felt the awesomeness of God’s presence.

Deb and her family were truly humbled and overwhelmed to see so many people turn out for the event. They were blessed to see the abundant generosity in the hearts of their community.

After the miraculous way God had orchestrated this event, we shouldn’t have been surprised that there was not only enough food to feed the multitudes, approximately 500 people, but at the end of the night there were enough leftovers to fill 12 baskets. Actually there was enough food left to send home with Debs family, to send to the Emmaus House, a shelter for women, to put in the freezer for a funeral several days later, to feed the girls softball team the following day, and to send home with the kitchen workers.

Our small in size community gave in a big way and poured out over $13,000 to help Deb with her cancer expenses. The gift of love they left in her heart is priceless.

I am so glad that I was able to be part of this small miracle. How many blessings would I have missed if the work had been done and all I would have had to do was serve up some spaghetti as I had originally hoped?

I can’t begin to thank God enough for allowing me the opportunity to say YES to Him. I will savor the outrageous blessings forever.

Doubting Thomas

Finally the sun is shining for the first time since stepping back on Michigan soil.

I have been doing a study called "At Home With The Word. " We have a study book but instead of going to class we write our thoughts via the internet. I love it because I don't even need to get out of my pajama's to attend.

This week we were to write our thoughts on John 20:19-31. Doubting Thomas. I decided to take the easy way out and post my thoughts to my blog today. Here goes:

I’m having some doubts about this chapter!! Ha Ha

I've read the doubting Thomas story over about 5 times and last night before going to sleep I read it again and noticed that when Jesus appears to the apostles without Thomas, John mentions the fact that Jesus showed them all His hands and side. Jesus doesn't just stand before them in His resurrected body and they believe. No, he reveals himself to them. In other accounts, Mary Magdelene had to hear him say her name before she recognized Him, the disciples on the road to Emmaus didn't realize it was Jesus until he broke bread, and even John who was the first to believe, had to see the evidence of the burial clothes.

Yet Jesus says "Blessed are those who believe even though they haven't seen?"

Well, needless to say that left lot's of questions rambling around in my empty head as I went to sleep. After much tossing and turning as I pondered it all, I came up with the following thoughts:

After his appearance Jesus' instructions were "Okay now that you've seen, go out and tell everyone about me". Even though the story was pretty preposterous, when the apostles told the story of the Risen Christ, others believed them, because of their first hand knowledge. The apostles must also have had something special about them that made them credible witnesses to others, something that reflected Christ.

As the news spread, how come it didn’t get to be unreliable? Wouldn’t it eventually be like saying "I know it's the truth because my uncle heard it from my aunt who heard it from her son who heard it from his best friend, etc.

It made me think about little kids always asking "Why" Sometimes parents can give them an explanation they understand; other times the parents don’t really have a good answer and so they say "Because I said so". While the kid ends up following in his parents footsteps, does he really believe anything?

I think many of our churches are full of people who believe like that. But what kind of a witness for Christ can that belief be? "Because I said so" doesn't make it believable.

But when someone tells me how Christ makes a difference in their life, and can give eyewitness accounts of His faithfulness, and their life, as well as their words, reflect His goodness, I find it easy to believe. And once I believe, then God can reveal Himself to me on a personal level and he changes me inwardly and outwardly so I can be a reliable witness for Him to someone else. I believe that’s how the Gospel spreads.

Could Thomas' testimony have been reliable if he only had the words of the others to testify about?

I believe we need to ask God more not less to reveal Himself to us. Not because we can’t believe without seeing Him, but because the revelation of God strengthens our resolve and gives credibility to our testimony. I think God wants to do that more than anything else in the world. Faith is believing that the Christ will reveal Himself to us, but most likely we won’t see the nail scared hands, we will see someone who looks like Jane or John Doe.

Last fall I heard Margaret Nutting Ralph (or is it Ralph Nutting?) speak. She's the author of "And God Said What?"

She told the story of preparing to teach a class on the Resurrection, and she was totally perplexed and annoyed that she didn't understand why the apostles didn't recognize Christ when He returned.

As she was preparing for class her dad had a stroke and she had to rush to the hospital. She found out that when her father was released he would be going home instead of to a rehab center. She knew her mother wouldn't know how to care for him and Margaret was really getting upset and didn't know what to do.

In tears and not wanting to talk to anyone she got into the elevator to go for coffee and prayer. As the elevator doors closed a voice behind her said

"You probably don't recognize me but I took a class from you last year."

Margaret didn't really want to get into a conversation with the woman, but felt like she needed to be kind and so she said half heartedly,

“What ministry are you in?"

The woman replied "Oh I'm not in the ministry; I am a home health care director. I oversee an organization that goes into people’s homes and teaches them how to care for their loved ones who have had a stroke or an injury."

After hearing Margaret’s story, the woman offered to personally come to her fathers home and stay until they felt confident to care for him.

Several months later, Margaret’s father had to return to the hospital and when she went to visit she noticed that his lips that were fine when he left his home, had become dry and cracked and he had not been getting the proper oral care.

When Margaret mentioned this to the nurse the nurse got angry and said,

"We are just too overworked and there are some things we just can't get to. If it needs to be done, do it yourself"

Again, visibly shaken, Margaret headed down for coffee before doing or saying something she regretted.

She got into the elevator feeling glad she was alone. The door closed and as the elevator started to move, it gave a violent shake and the doors opened back up.

Margaret wasn't about to stay in the elevator so she headed to the stairway. As she walked down the corridor she heard a voice behind her say

"You probably won't recognize me, but I was in a class you taught last spring."

Margaret said she already knew the routine so without turning around she said,

"And just what do you do for a living?"

The woman replied "I am a patient advocate. I intervene for the patient when they feel they are not receiving proper medical care."

Margaret said all at once she realized that Jesus’ Resurrected body looks like an every day person. Often we never look for God in the every day occurrences, or in the people we meet on the street. But that is where the Risen Lord will most likely be revealed. Don’t chalk it up to coincidence.

I believe that finding Jesus in those every day happenings is what will give meaning to our testimonies and how our belief in Christ can become that of an eyewitness. But I think we need to ask God to reveal himself to us and believe that he will. After all doesn’t he tell us "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” Matthew 7:6-8

That doesn’t sound like a “Because I said so” kind of God to me.

Earlier in one of the Gospels when Jesus asks, “Who do you say I am?” and Peter answers, “You are the Christ the Son of the Living God”, Jesus praises Peter saying “Blessed are you, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.” Again God reveals himself. Matthew 16:15-17

So after much deliberation, I believe the true sin of doubt isn’t needing to see, but doubting that God will and wants to reveal himself to us if we only ask.

And Your Heart Will Lead You Home

I’m back home and like all good things, my month long Sabbatical has come to an end.
I must say that I was totally dreading driving 1500 miles by myself. But with God as my co-pilot I’m home safe and sound.

It’s amazing how putting on some praise music while stuck in a traffic jam can change your demeanor. Instead of grumbling I just praised God, knowing he was in control.

As I drove home the lyrics of “Your Heart Will Lead You Home” sung by Kenny Loggins in the “Tigger Movie” kept going thru my head. I was sad leaving everything I had grown to love all over again, behind.
Sunny days and starry nights and lazy afternoons
You’re counting castles in the clouds and humming little tunes

But somehow right before your eyes the summer fades away
Everything is different, everything has changed
A few years ago I was torn between continuing to live in Florida and feeling like God was calling me to go back home to Michigan, When God finally gave my heart peace about the decision to move back home, the lyrics brought me comfort.There’ll come a day when you’re loosing your way, and you don’t know where you belong
They say that home is where the heart is so follow your heart
and know that you can’t go wrong
If you feel lost and on your own and far from home you’re never alone you know
Just think of your friends the ones who care
They all will be waiting there with love to share
And your heart will lead you home.
When I would sing the song it helped me to concentrate on all the things I loved that I would be going back to. It was a hard thing to do because I knew how many wonderful people I was leaving behind.

The old cliché that says “you can never go home again,” scared me. I knew I wasn’t the same person any longer. In the year I spent in Florida, God had grown me in so many ways. I was going back to be with the same people in the same places, and I wondered how the new me would fit in. How would I ever be able to survive without a friend like Jackie that I could talk to for hours about anything; a friend that shared the same passion for Christ?

We serve such a faithful God; I should have known that he would provide for my spiritual needs. Back at home he brought new people into my life to fill the void. My life in Michigan was full and I was content doing all the things God gave me to do.

But a part of my heart longed for the things of the past.

I felt Gods approval for a trip back to the place where I had come to know and love Him in a new way, but as I prepared to leave and go back to Florida, my mind began to wonder what I would find. Would my friend Jackie be so involved in her new life that she wouldn’t have time, or worse yet have no desire to renew our friendship?

My trip back to Florida would end up being a blessing for both of us. It was as though I had never left. Jackie and I spent many precious hours together and it was as though time had stood still waiting for my return.

Funny how a photograph can take you back in timeTo places and embraces, that you thought you'd left behind
They're trying to remind you, that you're not the only onethat no one is an island, when all is said and done
God is so awesome and he knows my heart like no one else. He did so much to orchestrate my stay into a memorable event.

He provided a worship service each week that seemed tailored just for me. I had drawn so much pleasure from listening to the entire First Baptist Choir when I was a regular, but 3 particular singers stood out in my memory. During my visit, every week one of those special singers performed solo.

My Bible Study Class was as warm and welcoming as I had remembered, and He provided the chance to share a special lunch with all of them.

He brought our friends Jeanne and Barb for a visit to relax and reconnect, and He ministered to both of their hearts in a special way.

Each trip to the beach left me in awe, and I felt God’s presence so strongly as I walked the beach and watched the sun set into the immenseness of the Gulf of Mexico.

But most of all God gave me a wonderful blessing by allowing me to return to renew and strengthen the two greatest friendships I have ever known; my friendship with Jackie, and my friendship with HIM.

I am so thankful to God for this special time.

As I placed my suitcase into the car yesterday morning and began the last leg of the trip back home, I heard God’s voice reminding me that for the time being I am living right where he intends me to be. His still small voice sang in my ear,
"Just think of your friends the ones who care,
they all will be waiting there with love to share…
And your heart will lead you home."

Resurrection Sunday

The definition of “resurrection” in the Encarta dictionary is as follows: rising from the dead-in some systems of belief, a rising from, or raising of somebody from the dead, or the state of having risen from the dead

Yesterday was Resurrection Sunday for my family in more ways than one.

My husband’s family gathered for an Easter celebration hosted by my son Dan and his soon to be new/old wife Ann. I say that because they were married, divorced and are now back together, a sort of resurrection of their marriage you might say. Here is the happy couple


I am so happy that they volunteered to have Easter dinner at their house even if I couldn’t be there to join them.

It’s good to see the house coming to life again.

The house Danny and Ann live in belonged to me and my husband Ed. We built the house as our dream home in 1978 and for many years the house saw much love and laughter during family gatherings and parties for our friends and associates.

After Ed died, I kept the house and the eight plus acres it sat on for 13 years.

The acreage was part of the farm I grew up on. Each sibling received a parcel of land on which to build a home. My sister lived next door, and after my dad sold the original farm he retained a portion and put up a small house next door to my sister.

I was ready to sell my house the first year after Ed died, but selling part of my heritage seemed as though I was being ungrateful for my parents gift of the land and it also felt like I was breaking family ties.

Instead of selling, I decided to give the house a make over and make it MY home and not ours. I thought maybe, if I could erase the traces of Ed, it would make the pain go away.

I did get agreat new kitchen in the make over, and eventually the pain stopped on its own.

The following year I got the itch to move once again and when I mentioned it to the children, Danny looked at me and as tears ran down his cheeks he said,

“Maybe that’s why I can never picture my family sitting around the tree at Christmas when I try. That’s because you won’t be living here.”

It broke my heart!

A few years later I got the bug once again, when I was moving to Florida.

This time my daughter Wendy wanted to buy the house from me. I loved the idea at first and then I started doubting whether or not it was what God wanted me to do. I prayed about it for a few days and then one day opened the bible to see if I could get a word from the Lord.

I don’t remember what I read on the page I opened to, or even what book of the Bible I was reading, but it talked about widowhood, and children dying, and fire. I’m sure I took the passage totally out of context at the time but all I could visualize was my grandchildren burning up in the house, so I decided to wait until after I tried living in Florida to sell it. My reasons for not selling seemed silly so I couldn't tell Wendy the real reason, I just told her I decided not to sell.

The decision turned out to be a good one. Florida was just God's training ground for me and not where He wanted me remain.

I moved back home. Living so close to my dad just before he died made it so much easier for my sister and me to give him the care he needed in order for him to remain in his home.

But after Dad died, the house began to feel like an open sore to me. I no longer wanted to decorate it or even keep it clean. I felt weighed down and over burdened by the taxes and with the maintenance.

The back yard pool that had been such a joy was a chore to keep clean and sanitized, and , we only swam in it three times the last year before I filled it in.

The back yard deck became weathered and darkened, and a year went by without putting out the patio furniture.

Some days I would remember the how wonderful the yard looked after being mowed, the petunia’s decorating the foundation and the trees and bushes weed whacked clean; the back yard open and the blue pool, sparkling and inviting, and the table umbrella shading us from the hot sun. Days when my house was a home for a family and not for a single woman. Those days no longer existed.

But 9 months after my dad’s death I finally felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt free at last to sell the house and move away.

Danny and Ann were back together and ready to begin living together once again. I offered to sell the house to the two of them. The timing was right. Things fell into place and I felt Gods blessing on my decision.

What I didn’t anticipate however, was how much my daughter would be hurt over my decision. She and Stephen would have had to sell their home before they could buy mine and in Michigan that is not an easy thing to do. I thought she would be happy that it could stay in the family. I hoped she would get over it as soon as she saw how much easier it would be for her to have me living so close. But it didn’t happen.

The day I moved out was the last time she stepped foot into the house. I have been praying daily for God to heal her heart.

Yesterday on Resurrection Sunday, God answered my prayers. Wendy joined the rest of her family for the Easter dinner. I know how hard it was for her to swallow her pride and I know there will still be healing that needs to take place. But with God’s help she has made the first step and broken free from the chains that held her.

My daughter in-laws artistic touches and my son’s handy work have resurrected a dying home and my daughter and grandsons presence have filled it once again with Joy!

Thank you Father, for making all things new again.

Practice What You Preach

God has such a great way of humbling me. Every time I open my mouth and make a statement he has a way of making me live up to my response.


About a month ago, I witnessed my daughter Wendy and her significant other, Stephen, get angry at the manager of a restaurant after they were treated unfairly and also rather rudely. I tried to reason with them that even if the manager was wrong, their actions only added fuel to the situation. I told them that their anger only resulted in an inner conflict and caused the manager to feel vindicated when they left in a huff, and I suggested that perhaps killing her with kindness would have been the better choice.

But I might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

I was upset with both of them for two days, and when I prayed, I asked God to show them how bad they sounded in front of their children.

Well, I must have been feeling a little too self- righteous, because a few days later while I was babysitting for my grandsons I had an encounter with the cable company.

I could feel myself getting upset at the woman on the other end of the phone, who didn’t seem to care that even though I had cancelled my internet service I was still being charged for it. With my voice raised, I asked to speak to her manager. As my words became angrier I glanced over and saw three pair of big blue eyes starring at me. I was suddenly reminded of the words I had given to my daughter a few days before. The Lord said to me, "Luanne can you practice what you preach. "


Last week, Lysa TerKeurst at Proverbs 31 asked us to tell her our favorite scripture when we encounter fear. I replied "2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' I always feel like God is saying "don't worry, I'm already on it and it helps me relax."

Later that evening as I was returning from bible study, I turned a lttle too sharply into my parking spot. I heard a scrapping sound as the passenger side of my rented vehicle made contact with the post of the carport. I stopped the car but instead of pulling forward I backed up and heard the sound all over. Here is the result.




Oh Boy, did I have trouble sleeping that night.
I had just swithched insurance companies before leaving.
Tossing and turning all night long I wondered whether to turn a claim into my insurance company or pay for the repairs myself.

The next morning I woke with the weight of the world on my shoulders, and as I went thru the day it felt as though I could burst into tears if someone smiled at me. I was half way thru the day when I remembered what I had written on Lysa's blog, and driving down the road I began to recite "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' over and over.

As I repeated the words I realized that I had been focused on what I had done wrong instead of what God can do because of it.

I wasn't being careless and I hadn't been distracted when I pulled into the parking spot. I had just misjudged it this time, despite the fact that I have pulled into the same car port atleast 365 times previously without ever scrapping my car.

So I'm just wondering why God has allowed me to experience this trial now.

Even though I don't know the answer, I know he does.

In her book “Calm My Anxious Heart” Linda Dillow gives an account taken from Michael P Green’s “Illustrations for Biblical Preaching” where Andrew Murray wrote the following advice :

“In times of trouble say “First, He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this straight place, in that I will rest.” Next, “He will keep me here in his love and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child.” Then say, “He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons he intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he wishes to bestow.” And last say “In His good time he can bring me out again. How and when he knows” Therefore say, “I am here (1) by God’s appointment (2) for his keeping, (3) for his training, (4) for his time.”

I love those words "to behave as his child". Most of the time thats the hardest part for me.

A Big Slice of Humble Pie Please

Last week Lysa TerKeurst http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ held a recipe swap. Amy Brooks graciously assembled them all into a printer friendly format and emailed them to all interested. I searched carefully but couldn't find the recipe I need so desperately today. Humble Pie!



Yesterday morning I journaled asking God to make me a blessing for someone that day and to use me in whatever way he wanted.



As I went about my day I decided to head to the pool despite the fact that there wasn't a trace of sun in the sky. It was extrememly cloudy. As I arrived I found less than a handful of people, which made finding a lounge chair an easy task.



The lounge chair next to me was empty and on the other side of that chair was an older woman with an Amigo or or some other brand of scooter, at her side.




I put on my headphones and began jamming silently to the wonderful songs of "Selah", and I fell asleep to the pleasant tune and words of "Counselor, Comforter, Keeper".

A half an hour later I was awakened to the sound of a lounge chair scrapping the cement surface. I looked over and noticed the woman next to me struggling to pull herself on to her scooter.

"Could I help you?" I asked.



She turned her head as far as she could towards me and said "NO".

I wondered if she was embarrassed or just trying to be self sufficient, but after watching her struggle for two more times I jumped off my chair and went to her side.



"Maybe if I hold the scooter for you it will be easier" I volunteered.

She tried one more time and failed. Silently I held out my hand and she took it and with hardly any effort she rose immediately.

"Thank You" she said. "My Pleasure" I replied as I walked back to my chair.



Sitting down on my chair I began praising God for letting me help her. But it wasn't just praise I was feeling. A spiritual pride wove its way into the equation. I was so busy thinking how great it was that God used me like I had asked him that morning, that I failed to open the gate for the women and I saw her struggling with it from a distance. Why do I always take my eyes off God and put them on myself.



This morning the reading in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, hit me right smack in the face. It asked "Am I really surrendered to God for his sake, or am I surrendered for what I can get out of it?"



As I read it my body tensed, and I felt myself concentrating so hard trying to figure out the answer to his question, that I found myself "bearing down" as in child birth.

Mr. Chambers continued saying "The words "gaining heaven", "being delivered from sin" and "being made useful to God" are things that should never be a consideration in real surrender." Ouch! My exact words in that mornings journal read "Please fill me with your wonderful virtues so I may become useful to you." Or in otherwords I want, I want, I want!



Oswald Chambers goes on to say "Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference to Jesus Christ Himself. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it."



Wow this is hard because as soon as I pray "I want to be totally surrendered to you Lord." I tell him MY wants again and it's back to being all about ME when it fact it must be all about him.

Yikes! It doesn't feel like I have the foggiest idea of what total surrender really feels like.



Could Someone Please Pass the Humble Pie.

The Beach

Naples, Florida: Day 9

Yesterday we changed our clock ahead one hour. My clocks were in order, but my body was an hour behind. I rushed to church instead of making it a leisurely experience. Well actually my body is a lot more than an hour behind. Its been playing catch up longer than I'd like to admit.

It is amazing to me how hard and how long it takes to get into shape and how quickly you can slip back. I’m not talking about a well oiled machine kind of shape, but the kind of shape where you can walk a mile or two without huffing and puffing after.



















4 years ago I walked 3 miles a day. 1.5 miles to the complex gate and 1.5 miles back. I could do it in 45 minutes. While a 15 minute mile may be slow, it felt like a marathon to me. My short feet and short legs make for a very short stride.

Oh my how I have lost ground. A week ago I walked 1.75 miles and it took me an hour. I could make excuses and say my foot has not healed yet and I’m four years older, but the truth is the 20 plus pounds I’ve put on and the sedentary life style I’ve been leading are the real culprits. My goal is to do the 3 miles in 50 minutes before I leave in 20 days.

Yesterday I went to the beach for the first time. I forgot how much easier it is to walk beside the Gulf and watch the waves crash than it is to walk on a sidewalk. But yesterday I was too busy snapping pictures with my new camera to get in much walking. I was practicing taking pictures using my zoom.


I know this is a little voyeuristic, but I needed a closer look at those blue and gold chairs. I think a Michigan Wolverine fan lives in this condo.

I was so busy looking around to see what I wanted to take a picture of that I almost stepped on this. Yikes!!

Up close it looks like miniature corn cobs.

I love watching the pelicans. If you look close he is just ready to swallow the fish.

Day One of Daylight savings has changed the time of sunset by an hour. I failed to take that into consideration when I headed off to the beach to see the sun set. Silly me!

Dinner is in the oven so sunset at the beach will have to wait for another day. This is as close to setting as I'll see today.

Welcome Back

Hi, If you’ve come here from Lysa Blog, my recipe for “Lip Smacking Key Lime Pie” will be at the end of my post.


I’ve been suffering from a bad case of writers block. The last thing I posted was on February 15th and since that time its been down hill.

For the last few weeks I have been anxiously waiting to begin a month’s vacation in Naples, Florida and perhaps that’s what’s been clogging the airways of my mind.


Finally, last Saturday, March 1 at 11:30 a.m., I drove thru the gates of Naples Heritage and breathed in the warm salt water air and whispered to myself “I’m home”.

You see 4 years ago this was my home for one very special year. God invited me to come and spend some time getting to know him in a way I had never before experienced.

He spoke to me through my friend Jackie. We’d gone to the same grade school and had been cheerleaders together in high school, and when our kids went to school and played sports we became bleacher butt buddies and the friendship began to grow along with our backsides from all the sitting.

In Naples, Jackie not only became my downstairs neighbor but also a spiritual role model.

The things I thought and felt about God and religion, paled in comparison to the things God would teach me during my year long stay. Naples became a plush playground for my faith.



At the same time that God was luring me closer to him, the many shopping centers in town called out my name and beckoned me to come and worship them. Naples was quickly becoming my Babylon.

There was a constant tug of war to see whether good girl or bad girl would win out. Most of the time in the early part of my sabbatical, bad girl emerged. I not only had too much time on my hands, but right before I left Michigan, the man I had fallen head over heels for, had decided he wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship, and if I stayed he wasn’t sure he was ready for a long term relationship either.

So shopping became my vice to curb the pain. I shopped for items to cutesy up the condo, I shopped for clothes because I was losing weight and I liked being able to buy smaller sizes. I shopped and I shopped and I shopped, and couldn’t seem to get my fill. In between the shopping jaunts, I turned to the Lord to find contentment.

Every day I found new meaning surrounded by the sand and the surf, and every day I grew more in love with the people God had brought into my life.

Each thing that filled my heart with joy created a longing to share them with my family back home. My heart while joyful , was being torn in two worrying what would happen when the year was over. God helped to convince me to take each day at a time.

On December 12, 2004 my journal entry read:

Lord, so many lessons this week have sent the same message. And by George, for the first time I think I have it. I have wondered how I go about being satisfied with what I have. How does one block out what they want and make you all they need?

Only by your grace am I finally feeling contentment in my life. Yesterday morning as I worked on my bible study, I looked up as I read the words of the 23rd Psalm.

“He makes me to lie down in green pastures”. I looked out at the green grass of the golf course in front of me and realized how rested I have become since coming to Florida. Even in my stressful times I could feel a peace.

“He leads me beside still waters”. Again I looked up and saw the pond of water before me and thought how walking along the still water and walking along the beach the last few weeks has relieved so much stress. “

He restores my soul” Ah yes this is where I really feel the connection. You have taught me so much in the last year, more than in the last 55 years of my life put together. How I will ever be able to leave this “plush playground for my faith” remains to be seen.

I only know that I am content being in this place at this time and I am going to enjoy every second I have left to continue to grow and serve you and to praise you for this tropical blessing I am living in. The words of praise in my heart and the songs of praise I sing will never do justice to the thankfulness and love I have for you.

Thank you, Lord, for the memories that have been made. Thank you for the chance to build my character; and for the ability to walk with you and talk with you on a deeper level. Help me to take one day at a time and savor the blessings.

My year came to a close, and God sent me back home with a heart full of love and a head full of knowledge.

He sent me home to put into action everything he had been teaching.

He sent me home to spend my dad’s last year with him, helping my sister with his care in ways we never imagined we would have to do.

God’s words helped me endure the sleepless nights we would spend by his side in order to keep him in his home and not a hospital. Over and over when I thought I couldn’t do it any longer, I heard God say "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

God’s words got me thru the last days, and just as dad was taking his final breaths my sister whispered, “Let’s pray” and together we began ...“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. …..”.

Those words had special meaning to me again this week.

I awoke the first morning just as the sun was rising. Quietly I took my bible and my bible study book out onto the lanai and opened to the daily lesson. “Read the 23rd Psalm” the directions said. And as I opened my Bible and began to read I heard God speaking all over again.

“Welcome back Child, he whispered, Welcome Back!”

Now, here is the recipe for Lysa's Blog Readers

Lip Smacking Key Lime Pie (sorry I don't photograph food well. Its prettier than it looks)

1 - 8 oz block of cream cheese

1 can of Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk

1/2 to 3/4 cup of Key Lime Juice (must be Key Lime)

1 tsp of vanilla

1 Graham cracker pie crust

Beat cream cheese until smooth and add Eagle Brand milk. Mix together and then add the key lime juice and vanilla. When thoroughly mixed, pour into pie shell and refrigerate. For decorative look Top with whip cream and a small wedge of lime. Sprinkle sliced almonds on whip cream topping. (Can be made with reduced fat cream cheese and the reduced fat Eagle brand milk but does not set up as well as the regular.) Bon ape'tit

Morning Revelations

Because of the LORD'S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my protion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamntations 3:22-24 (NIV)

Yesterday, Michigan’s weather was bitter cold and by late afternoon the snow was beginning to fall again. As a result, I stayed hunkered down and I spent most of my afternoon and evening on the internet checking out blogs. What I found greatly distressed me.

I found eloquent writing that painted precise visual pictures in my mind. I found scriptural writings that could have been delivered as a sermon by Billy Graham. There were humorous writings that made me laugh until I cried and touching, heartfelt, testimonies that had me wishing I could walk in their shoes so I could experience the same life saving grace that had been given to them.

But the main thing I found as I scanned the multitude of blogs last night was how my writing paled in comparison.

By bedtime my heart was broken and as I knelt beside my bed I called out to God:

“How did I get it so wrong Lord? How did I misunderstand your call to write? Why did I think I could write for your glory just because I enjoy doing it so much? Please help me do what it takes to discern your will for me now and move in the right direction. Please show me what you would have me do.”

In my quiet time with God this morning, he revealed something that eased my hurting heart as I read the daily reading from a booklet called ” The Word for You Today” http://newlifelancaster.org/content/

The reading for today was based on Numbers 14:24 (NIV)

“The Spirit of Caleb”

Caleb wasn’t into “safe living.” As a young man he came back from the Promised Land, stood with the minority and announced, “With God on our side we’ll take it!” At 85, he was still slaying giants and claiming mountains. That’s because he had a “different spirit.” He wasn’t a “go with the flow and expect the status quo” guy.

Richard Edler writes: “safe living generally makes for regrets later on. We are all given talents and dreams. Sometimes the two don’t seem to match. But usually we compromise both before ever finding out. Later on, we find ourselves looking back longingly to that time when we should have chased our true dreams and our true talents for all they were worth. Don’t let yourself be pressured into thinking that your dreams or your talents aren’t prudent. They were never meant to be prudent. They were meant to bring joy and fulfillment into your life.” If a caterpillar refuses to get into its cocoon it’ll never transform and will be forever relegated to crawling on the ground, even though it had the potential to fly.

What do you believe God’s called you to do? Do it! God’s not limited by your IQ, He’s limited by your “I will.” The poet said: “If you think you are beaten, you are. If you dare not, you don’t. If you’d like to win but you think you can’t, its almost certain you won’t. Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who believes he can.”
The spirit of Caleb is the “can do” spirit! Have you got it? “

What a beautiful reminder from God to keep writing for his glory and quit judging the talents he gives me with the talents he gives to others. A reminder that I'm writing for the pleasure it gives me and not for the esteem of my colleagues.

As he has pointed out in the past, my job is to obey, and leave the results to Him.

So God, this blog is especially for you. Thank you for loving me and using me in whatever way you wish. Thank you for the inspiring words you have given Pastors Chris and Amy Foster at New Life Church. I can’t count the number of times you have used their words to encourage, and guide me.

And thanks too, for my friend Al. Without her passing their church devotional to me I never would have stumbled on to this wonderful addition to my life.

Fasting, Praying, and Almsgiving

When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting.

Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.” Matthew 6:16-18 (NAB)

Lent, the time of year where we reflect on our relationship with God through fasting, praying and almsgiving, began, Wednesday, in a virtual winter white out. The trek through the snow for Ash Wednesday Services wasn’t easy, but I was determined to go this year, determined to get real before God.

Leaving the church I pulled my coat and scarf tightly around me as I stepped out into the swirling white snow. What a stark contrast to the big black cross that was tattooed with ashes across my forehead. Ashes to remind me that I am a sinner saved by grace, and in need of repentance.

The snow served as a beautiful reminder of how white my soul will be when God is finished restoring me.

Lent used to be just a bunch of rules to me. As a school girl it signaled the start of 40 days of torture, when I would be guilted into giving up some pleasurable thing as a way of repenting for my sins.

I always tried to give up eating Brussels Sprouts, but mom wouldn’t let me. She knew that for me eating Brussels Sprouts didn’t register on the pleasure scale.

So along with most of my fellow Catholic classmates, I tried going without candy and gum and sometimes sweets in general, for the next grueling 6+ weeks.

Some parents told their kids that Sunday was a free day; others said you should abstain for the whole time. To my dismay, my mom always followed the stricter guidelines.

Some of my friends had iron clad willpower and when Lent was over, their Easter Basket became a true reward for their dedication. Then there were those like me, who, by the second week had already blown it.

Getting my Easter basket often felt a lot like opening my Christmas presents after I had already peaked inside. When the time finally came to savor the moment, or in this case, bite the ear off my chocolate bunny, it was usually a lackluster event.

As I grew older it was time for me to observe the rules about fasting. Fasting meant that our two small meals shouldn’t add up to more than our biggest meal.

I quickly learned to gorge myself at dinner so as not to bend the rules. By the second week of Lent I’d usually blown the fasting rule too.

Then one day I put aside all the “rules” of the Church, and did my own thing. I thought rules were a stumbling block to my relationship with God. So instead I began building that relationship by just talking to him and pouring out my soul. I went to church each week and continued to grow in my faith.

But one day as I was pondering something that was troubling me I heard God ask:

“Why do you always buck the rules?”

“Who Me?”

“Yes, you. Do you realize you have a problem with submission? You always think you have a better way.

After you’ve been still long enough for me to enlighten you, you eventually come around, but before then you are constantly causing an internal conflict.
It’s not that you object to the rules in principle, but you object to someone telling you it’s a rule that you must follow

As much as I hated to admit it, He was right. But then He’s always right.

“Okay Lord, why does the Church tell us we have to fast? Where is the sacrifice if it’s a rule? Wouldn’t you rather have us do something because we want to and not because we have to?”

“Of course, He answered. You always have the choice to do what you wish. The Church is saying if you want to grow closer to God this is what you must do. . Stop thinking of them as rules and call them My guidelines.

Did you notice that My Word assumes you will fast? I didn’t say If you fast but rather when you fast do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.

Fasting isn’t a punishment. Fasting isn’t about not eating, it’s about denying self. It’s about sacrifice, and sacrifice means to “make holy”. Isn’t that what you want me to do, to make you holy?

In other words the sacrifice is a way of saying that food and your desires are secondary to something else, and that something else is Me.
Luanne, what is there in your life that is getting in the way of your relationship with Me?”

Ouch, Ouch and more Ouch!

“How don’t I love thee Lord, let me count the ways”.

1. The words eating addiction came to mind. I use food to soothe my mood, whether happy or sad I want to fill the emotion. Then there is the lack of exercise. Between the two, I am not honoring God when I destroy the temple he created to house his Holy Spirit.

2. The television shows I watch. By the worlds standards they are a little racy, but by God’s standards they are shows that corrupt my mind into thinking certain things are okay because they are funny or cute. I try to reason that they are entertaining, yet bit by bit they draw me further away from proper fellowship with God.

3. I am a shop-a-holic. There is something about buying new outfit that is exhilarating even though my closets are full of more clothes than I can possibly wear in a year I think it is okay because I can afford to buy it. Or how about TV’s. Do I really need so many TV’s when I can only watch one at a time? Greed not only destroys my relationship with God it blinds me to the suffering going on in the world.


Need I go on? I think you have the picture.

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Lent and the Gospel reading was Matthew 4:1-11, Satan tempting Jesus in the desert. As I looked over my list of things that are getting in the way of my relationship with God, I was struck with how they align with the same temptations Jesus suffered.

1. Satan tempted Jesus with food. I have played into Satan’s hand with my addiction to food and my failure to keep my body in optimum physical condition. Lord, help me to fill up on your word and remember that Man does not live on bread alone.
   
   


2. Satan tempted Jesus to test God. I have fallen into that temptation by judging my morals with the world’s standards and not to God’s standard.
   Lord, help me not to test the boundaries of your patience and justice.
   
   


3. Satan tempted Jesus with material gain if he would bow down and worship him. My eyes are focused on the things of this world and I eat out of Satan’s palm when I lust after material possessions.
   Lord, help me to remember there is no other God but you, and help me to do away with anything that comes before my love and dedication to you. Help me to give abundantly and not store up treasures while my neighbor is starving.
   
   

Jesus told us not to look gloomy as we fast. He wasn’t gloomy when he fasted in the desert for 40 days. While he was focused on His Father, his hunger did not overtake him, in fact the bible tells us that he wasn’t hungry until afterwards.

I’m going to follow Jesus’ example. I’m determined to use the next 40 days to rid my life of the clutter that stands between me and God. I’m not giving up, I’m laying down self in order for God to build me up and restore me to the person he wants me to be. I'm washing my face and making it shine and you'll never know whether I'm fasting or not.

But just incase I am would you please say a little prayer that this time I can get past the second week?

Faithful in the Small Stuff

No Doubt About It……..I am style challenged. It’s not that I don’t have style; it’s just… different from everyone else’s.

For over three months, a forest green oversized chair and ottoman stood out as the sole piece of furniture in the living room of my new duplex. I loved this chair and it was the only thing to sit on that I brought from my old home. Finding a sofa to go with it was proving way harder than I thought.

Bigger than the problem of designing the room around the chair was the fact that when God was passing out the style genes, I must have been standing in a different line – most likely the line where they were passing out generous helpings of pleasingly plump.


Not only do I have weird taste in material things, I have an approval addiction, and I judged every sofa I looked at by what my friends would think of it.

My friend Jan had rolled her eyes in disbelief when I told her I was looking for plaid or a feminine flower print. “Oh No, micro fiber is what you need to get. Plaid went out long ago.”

So I began looking at the sofas with micro fiber. I could picture myself curled up on a cold winter’s night in this stuff. But every sofa seemed too light, too dark, too wrong kind of cushion etc. Nothing seemed to strike my fancy.

I was growing depressed with each passing day. I couldn’t entertain a guest unless we sat out on the patio furniture. I was feeling desperate.

After retiring in August I was sure I would finally be able to think clearly and be able to pick a sofa out right away. But when Labor Day rolled around I still hadn’t made my choice.

I took my daughter on a whirl wind shopping trip to 4 different stores to see my favorites that week-end. She liked them all plus a few more. AAAUUUGGGHHH!

I went home that evening exhausted and called my friend Al. She seemed sympathetic even though she’d been hearing the same story for months.

“I think I’m just going to hand my checkbook to my friends Jeanne and Marsha, they both have terrific taste. I’ll just let them pick one for me. It would be so much easier than this indecisiveness”, I told Al. She gasped.

That night when I knelt to pray, I laid my head on the bed and cried out. “Lord, I need a couch but I simply cannot decide. Can you help me, please? Would you PLEASE pick out a sofa for me? Lord, show me what your choice is.

If my friends had heard my prayer that night, they would have laughed. Sometime earlier we’d gotten in a discussion about God’s will. One friend was trying to decide on new flooring but couldn’t seem to make up her mind what to go with. When I asked if she had prayed about it, another friend jumped in and said, “I’m not about to stand in the middle of the store and say “Which rug should I buy God.” “In the first place, I don’t have time to wait to hear his answer. And secondly, I think God has too many other, more important, things to think about than what rug I should buy!”

I wondered if I was passing the buck to Jesus when I should be sucking it up and deciding myself. I don’t know why, but it just felt easier to finally ask God what his decision would be.


After church the next day, I made the twenty mile trek back to the shopping area As I turned the corner I passed by the furniture store that has a different sale every week and sure enough the windows announced a big Labor Day Blow out. I had already decided which store I wanted to buy from but nevertheless I felt a real tug at my heart to pull into the driveway.

Just as I entered the store I saw it. It was different than I ever would have imagined buying. The pillows were a tad bit on the wild side and it had loose back pillows which I swore I would never have, but it just kept drawing me in. I couldn’t explain why I liked it. I just did, it said HOME to me.

When I first began shopping for furniture, my friend Althea, a friend of mine from my widow’s organization, First Tea @ Five, got the itch to replace her sofa. So one day she popped into a name brand furniture store to look around. If you’ve ever shopped some of these stores, you know that you feel like road kill as soon as you enter the store. It seems as though the vultures descend upon you. This happened to Al but she just kept repeating “No thanks I’m just looking.”

Finally one young saleswoman named Cindy stepped up and asked if she could get Al a bottle of water. When she brought the water to Al they began conversing and Al learned Cindy was newly widowed. She invited her to our next meeting, and Cindy accepted. I’m always so amazed at the ways God brings new members into our group.

I sat down on the sofa and wiggled around checking out the feel when I suddenly remembered my prayer from the night before. I raised my eyes to the heavens and just shook my head in disbelief. “Thank You” I whispered. Then God whispered back, “Call Cindy.”

Cindy worked at a different branch and wasn’t working that day, but when I called her at home to see how I could buy this ensemble from her and still take advantage of the sale she assured me I had until Tuesday.

As she thanked me for calling, she mentioned that last month she had not met her quota and was in danger of losing her job. This purchase would help her remain on target.

Had God been waiting for me to ask His opinion? Is anything to small for the Lord to be bothered with? I can’t answer that for sure, but I just know when I put God in charge of even the small things in my life the big things don’t seem so daunting.

With Mom's Blessing

This is my first time participating in Show and Tell Friday.

Here’s my show …and here goes my tell.

My mom died in 1988 due to congestive heart failure. She had been a heavy smoker; at least 1-2 packs a day of Camel cigarettes. She fought obesity for as long as I can remember, which was probably a bigger contributor to her CHF than the cigarettes she inhaled.

But despite her vices she was a dear, and she had a great love for the Lord. In her final years you could usually find her sitting at the kitchen table conversing with God.

My brother’s friends loved coming to our house just to sit and visit with her. She had a tell it like it is attitude, a loud voice and a big heart.

In her kitchen was a large picture window, and my most vivid memories of my mom are pictured with her sitting at the kitchen table keeping watch over the world outside.
In the winter she delighted in watching the birds at the feeders, especially the cardinals dressed in their colorful red feathers. In the summer she was always spotting a humming bird and pointing it out to the grandkids. When we drove out of the driveway she kept waving until we were gone from her view.

My mom’s wedding ring was a simple silver band with a row of tiny diamonds. She was always satisfied with the simplicity of the ring and always said she didn’t need a flashy diamond to prove my dads love to her. Over the years the ring lost several of the chips.

During her first CHF attack, moms ring had to be cut from her finger. She was in a coma for 3 days and we almost lost her. Having to be hospitalized for so long turned into a blessing in disguise for she was able to finally kick the smoking habit she’d had for over 50 years. It was also a blessing that her wedding ring wasn’t ruined, just a tiny cut in the back was all it took to disengage it from her finger, but she didn’t want to have the ring welded just incase it ever happened again.


Her hands and feet often swelled past the point of comfort. Often in the middle of the night she would take her ring off and put it on the night stand.

One day she noticed the ring was missing. The cleaning lady had been to the house earlier in the day, and mom was sure it had gotten knocked off and most likely swept up into the vacuum cleaner. We sifted through the dust and debris to no avail. Mom was heart broken for the rest of her days.

A few years after my mom died my husband came home with an announcement. “I think your dad has a girl friend” he told me. “No way” I gasped.


I hated the idea of my dad having another women in his life, and I didn’t take to the news in a kind way. Especially after I learned she had been his high school sweetheart. It felt like he was betraying my mom.

I refused to have anything to do with this woman and verbalized my feelings to everyone but my dad. In his quiet unassuming way, he suffered in silence at my obstinance.


I became further distraught when he decided to sell my childhood home so he could move into a smaller apartment.


Finally the day came to move dad’s belongings to the new place. It was also the day that I was going to have to meet this “other woman” for the first time, and I was a total wreck.

My job for the day was cleaning the bathrooms. The top drawer of the vanity in the master bath still had mom’s makeup and some of her medicines in it. I remember pulling out the drawers and taking them to the waste basket and dumping the contents out.


I was choking back sobs as I dumped, purging my soul along with the few remaining material possessions.


Finally we were done and everyone began jumping into their vehicles to take the last load of dad’s things to the new apartment.

"I’m not going, you already have enough help", I told them.


After the last car drove away I went to my parents bedroom and sat on the floor and wept.

“Mom I just can’t do this," I cried. "I don’t want to meet Nada. What do you think? Are you okay with dad having this other woman in his life? If you’re okay with it could you give me a sign?" (Okay for anyone reading this don't get bent out of shape because I was talking to a dead person- I know my mom lives today because of her belief and love for her dear savior)

I went home and began getting ready for the evening. Dad and Nada were taking us all to dinner.

At 5:30 my brother George and his wife Cec arrived at our house to drive us to the restaurant. When I opened the front door, Cec was grinning.



“I have a present for you, hold out your hand.” she told me.



Apprehensively I extended my palm and Cec dropped something into it. When I drew it in to have a closer look I saw my mothers lost wedding ring sitting in the palm of my hand.



"Oh my goodness," I exclaimed. "Where did you find this. "



"We found it when we went back to take one final look around. It was in the top drawer of the vanity in the master bath", she said. (Mind you this was the same vanity that I had taken the drawers out of and dumped the contents.)


"We knew you were having a tough time today and we just felt like Mom would like you to have this.”



This was surely my sign from Mom, and as I starred down at the ring, I could feel the touch of God. It was ever so slight as it brushed across my shoulders but it was a healing touch and I felt the scales fall from my hardened heart.


It was an angelic message sent to let me know that it was good that my dad was feeling alive again, and that my Mom was with God and they were rejoicing because dad was moving on with his life.


It was time to put my childishness aside and help my dad be happy once again.

Half of the diamond chips are missing from the ring. I've been hoping to get it restored. Maybe this show and tell will spur me on.